Who am I kidding?

Despite my desire to be able to just smile and say I'm alright, despite my efforts to keep myself so busy so that I won't have time to think about him, I'm missing him like crazy...

Yet, I'm sticking to my word and not contacting him in any way... I said I won't... so I guess I shouldn't. I wonder if he's alright... I wonder how he is... Maybe he hates me? Maybe he's happy that I am no longer bugging him...? I realize that I seem to be thinking of weird things to hurt myself... I wonder if he ever thought of me or misses me...? Sigh...

Bought a few books and went through all of them already... Started playing some old non online games to fill up my time. Chris showed me Requiem - Bloodymare today and I'm thinking of playing that when it gets to open beta. Seems like something I'd like. Hopefully it'll be fun and take my mind off its wanderings.